Are you getting professional help? And by avoiding reality it will be impossible for me to accept it and be ok with it which is an important part of self actualization. Just about a month ago he took me to this really fancy restaurant one night for dinner just to tell me that he was in love with me and that he WAS going to marry me. In this case CPL up there thought things were great between her boyfriend and her but there was a disconnect going on that she wasn’t aware of. A blindside breakup can only occur when one party of the relationship believes that they are on the same wavelength as the other party of the relationship. That we keep coming back to the same issue, that he needs space and alone time, that this won’t change. No one in their right mind would be wearing a hoody. Anyway, I don’t know what he’s thinking but I know he is the type of guy that if he’s missing me/ knows he made a mistake and he sees that I’m okay and happy, he won’t tell me because he wouldn’t want to bother me, he will just deal with his problems by himself. Hes been just as warm and affectionate as always. n. 1. If he is the type that lets you be then that means you can focus in improving yourself and getting your self esteem back and your life to grow before talking to him again. I want to see how the first few texts go after NC. he said he doesnt want to be with anyone else or talk to anyone, and if he wanted to be in a relationship again he wanted it to be with me. I would have cried too but I never want to put myself in a position where it looks like I’m begging for a guy to be with me even if on the inside I’m dying over him. The whole night he also jusy kept saying to me “casandra you’re so beautiful. His actions and words are confusing me. He said “last thing i want to do is hurt you but i haven’t been feeling as strong about this relationship as i was and i don’t know what it is but i don’t feel in it 100% and its not fair to you, i was going to bring it up sooner but i didn’t know how and i know this is out of the blue but i just don’t know what to do”.” I responded by said “how is this possible when we were just making plans for all this stuff we were going to do? I know hes going though a lot and the last thing he needs right now is me being petty over a few messages. I felt so secured. As this relationship ended so suddenly for me, I struggle to accept it. So, I put a lot of thought into the protocols that you should implement if you were blindsided by your ex and here is what I settled on. I definitely didn’t see it coming at all full stop. He would rather sit in his room and play video games and be alone when he is really bothered. Breakups & Exes; By Jordan White; Blindsiding someone with a breakup is rarely a classy move, but sometimes, it feels like the only way out of a relationship that just isn’t working. Most breakups come after a series of conversations. You see, a self actualized person would understand the reality of the situation. It has bothered me all throughout my life. Now, I realize that some of you may skip right over this comment so for those of you who did that (shame on you :p ) and here is a quick synopsis of what I am point out up there, “It blindsed me because I thought things were progressing and we were happy…”. He said that he needed space. We were talking all through the documentary and he even ate my leftovers from a few nights before. It’s also important to note that self actualized people are ok with their own quirks and have a high level of acceptance for all types of things. how would he react? However, we didn’t. (i have the ex boyfriend recovery pro, and can’t find anything about that in the book), Approach it like he moved on to the new girl.. You have to let them run their course while you’re still in nc and then just focus in improving yourself during and after nc, it looks like he’s in a grass is greener syndrome. Please help me. (With Chase Kosterlitz). Our friend (more his friend, they used to work together and hes like 50) sent him an email saying hes heard the news and was very sorry. He even said during our talk that he just wants some time to ourselves so we can get over each other and then we can be friends and do things normally, like he wants me to go over his house and cook dinners like we always do and watch movies on his couch or go out for drinks. And I think that you let fear rule your inner world- not necessarily fear of loosing your “freedom” but rather fear of love and what that responsibility brings. When the program was over, we decided to go to bed and fool around. If you weren’t focused in healing in improving yourself in the past two weeks, restart the count because that’s the most important thing in nc. Did I fuck up? I felt like everything was going fine, he seemed a little distant this past month because he said he was stressed out about work and I was trying to be understanding. A couple days later, during a convo while snuggling on the couch, he asks if i had gone on snapchat recently, i immediately panicked and said no. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. I hadn’t talked to him since nor had I attempted to do so even through text. So my bf and I broke up 2 and a half months ago. So, imagine that you think you are on the same wavelength as your ex boyfriend. He is amazing. It makes no sense. Anyway, I think reality finally sank in and I’m having a difficult time trying to act like this break up hasn’t phased me anymore. In fact, I still do right now a little bit. 😉 I want him back. He tried to ask more questions but it was obvious my ex didn’t want to talk about it. This is essentially where blindside breakups come from because one party is thinking nothing is wrong and the other party is. I’d rather talk in person but if you don’t want to I understand” and he never responded to the message!!!! Plan fun nights with your friends, join a club, take up a new hobby—anything you can do to keep yourself busy and distract yourself from the pain of losing someone you care about. Please help. But that when we broke up, he had told me that I could contact him whenever I wanted but that I hadn’t. 3 days later his best friend miscommunicated to me and made it sound like my guy was pursuing another girl. Every single solution that is suggested to me, from as big as learning to cook to as small as eating every meal off of a pretty plate, I am at least trying, short of drugs, alcohol (I don’t trust myself and I just have no desire), and sleeping around. The location of the new job unfortunately didn’t have many options for rentals or places to stay so we purchased a 5th wheel from my brother and built a storage trailer for all my other belongings. I expressed my concern to my family and friends and told them about all the coincidence and they have the same feeling as i do, that my ex is somehow behind this new guy talking to me. Cutting contact with the guy was enough. So, my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. How can I be friends with my Prince charming. Him and missed him, and hung up and stubborn as he is very selective who... We texted and he said that we both travel for a longer period time. Ex never really apologised for this, we decided to come back give! He thought that we couldn ’ t understand why he would want me back in future! And authority and ended up coming to get through this rough patch but he must let in. 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